Løgnen er ikke bare en by i Rusland

16. oktober 2018 / SPOT 12, 2018 / VRANJO er det første russiske ord, vi skal lære.

Tekst af Peter Andreas

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Tegning: Stine Spedsbjerg

Vi kan jo lige så godt alle sammen bare se at komme i gang med at lære russisk, for der går ikke mange dekader inden, vi er blevet fuldt annekteret i Moder Россия. Troldene er her f.eks. allerede.

Heldigvis bliver det første ord, vi skal lære, ikke så svært at huske, for vi har for længst overhalet Putin i dygtighed inden for det betydningsfelt, det dækker: VRANJO!

Vranjo er russisk og betyder noget i retning af: Jeg lyver, og du ved, jeg lyver, og jeg ved, at du ved, at jeg lyver, men vi vil begge to gå i døden før, vi indrømmer det! Som i ›Næ nej, det er skam ikke to russiske lejemordere udsendt af GRU, det er bare to turister, der interesserer sig indgående for katedraler!‹

Eller ›Næ nej, det er skam ikke bestikkelse, det er bare et milliontilskud til en liberal erhvervsklub!‹

Eller ›Næ nej, de fiskekvoter har overhovedet ikke noget at gøre med det sommerhusophold, jeg forærede statsministeren!‹

Eller ›Næ nej, jeg kalder skam ikke ministeren i samråd for at chikanere ham, jeg er bare virkelig nysgerrig på almen forvaltningspraksis!‹

Eller ›Næ nej, som administrerende direktør har jeg jo ikke en chance for at opdage hvidvask af 192 milliarder. Det var jo (måske, angiveligt, der er jo ikke faldet dom) helt ovre i Estland!‹

Eller: ›Næ nej, vi designer skam ikke vores udlændingepolitik for at tækkes de 12-15% Blå Bjarner, der bare har opgivet at forstå verden. Vi vil bare skabe tryghed for alle danskere og vi trænger jo også til et pusterum!‹

Eller: ›Næ nej, kønsforskning ER altså rigtig forskning!‹

Eller: ›Næ nej, ALLE synes faktisk at Kisten Birgit er sjov, ikke kun de journalister, der ikke selv tør sige hans/hendes pressekritiske banaliteter højt af frygt for at fornærme den redaktør, de skal til jobsamtale hos lige om lidt, når de også er blevet fyret!‹

Til gengæld er det fuldstændigt rigtigt, at du nu sidder med SPOT nr. 12 foran dig. På ære. Vi sværger. Hver en streg er sand!

God fornøjelse, siger vi bare.

Dk Politik Putin

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‘Nogle gik med turban, andre fez’

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Valgslagfærdig

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Valget: Det skal kunne betale sig. Valget kommer. SPOT har set det. Og derfor ser vi …

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Leder: Fusker-Fogh og de gode forsætter. Vejen til helvede er brolagt med gode forsætter. …

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Børnenes Statsminister. Mette Frederiksen vil sænke pensionsalderen for de nedslidte, …

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Danske uundgåelige taler. Danske Taler sætter sig selv på finansloven.

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Farven Gris

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Afledningsmanøren

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Overskudsbattle. Dansk Folkepartis Martin Henriksen var i topform, da han mødte den …

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Minister Danmark, del 3

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Minister Danmark, del 2. Efter utallige opfordringer fra læserne genoptager Spot den …

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Aflad fjerner syndens følger. I Alternativet starter vi med os selv. Sådan står det …

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Leder: Nationalpopulister uden arme. Sidste uge bragte klart for dagens lys, at Kristian Thulesen …

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Tag en tudekiks. Liberal privatisering og Dansk Folkeparti ønske om at slanke Danmarks …

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Ingen arme – intet princip. Kulturminister Mette Bock er blevet isoleret i den offentlige …

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Selvtillidsvotum giver 15 nye ministerier. Da SPOT fanger den Alternative Uffe Elbæk, …

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Leder: Giv hånd eller tag konsekvensen. SPOT forsikrer: Vores fremstrakte skråt-op-fingre …

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Vælger-fodring. Regeringen uddeler små gaver til alle sider i det nye forslag til finanslov. …

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Minister Danmark. Miss America skal til at handle om indre skønhed, og på Christiansborg …

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Eva Kjer Hansen tilbage på skansen – nu i nordisk samarbejde for ligestilling gennem fiskekvoter

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Desperat grøn. Venstres nye profil, der skal skaffe vælgere i hovedstaden

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Fra Krim til Bornholm. Forsvarets Efterretningstjenestes genetablering af overvågningen …

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Leder: Bundløst skamløs. Den danske regering lader til at have fundet en helt ny – og tilsyneladende …

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Public service kan være så meget

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Kold krig i ny balance. Natos modpart i den kolde krig var Warszawapagten under ledelse …

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Regeringen er trukket i arbejdstøjet. Danmarks nye arbejdsstyrke, skal mobiliseres …

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Når hævnen er sød. Englands Udenrigsminister vil ikke lade Putins giftmord af en tidligere …

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Håbet er grønt. Fejlagtige kvælstofsmålinger har siden 2010 undervurderet mængden …

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Tryghedsministeren

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Taberens sælsomme sejr. Putins Rusland er en afmægtig fattiggård – alligevel udmanøvrer …

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Tilbage til nærområdet. Socialdemokratiets formand, Mette Frederiksen, vil gerne hjælpe …

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Når fællesskabet udfordres. Innovationsminister Sophie Løhde forhandler med 745.000 …

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Farveller. Jakob Engel-Schmidt siger endegyldigt farvel til politik. Der var så meget, …

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Chill-faktor. Vi snakker om vejret, vi fortælles om vejret – og frem for alt om chill-faktoren: …

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En bombe, der kan forvandle dansk politik. Mediernes dækning af dansk politik havde …

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Vidunderlige provins

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SPOT flytter gerne til provinsen, men noget holder os tilbage

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Samuelsen slugt af kamel

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Endnu en usynlig minister. Sass takker igen og igen nej til at deltage i interviews …

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Forhandlingerne

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Samuelsen, kamelslugeren fra Horsens

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Til hest. En bevinget og mere lydsvag ordensmagt, kan måske skabe ro og orden på Nørrebro …

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Hvor er fædregruppen?. Liberal Alliances skattelettelseskrav har svært ved at mødes …

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Leder: Kæltringen i Kreml har sejret ad helvede til. Livet har været godt ved lillefar.

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Træk og udslip. Esben Lunde Larsen’s vandmiljøplan er igen udsat for kritik. En forsker …

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Leder: I kan tage vores ansigter for det. Ansigter. Ansigter. Ansigter. Uha, det er igen på …

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Leder: Hurra, den søde, kolde krig er tilbage. Det har altid været en stolt dansk tradition …

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Socialdemokratiernes langsomme, uskønne død. Der er mange måder at dø på. Man kan …

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Esben alene i verden

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Leder: Magt over ret – eller hvorfor regeringen ikke bare fyrer Inger. Hvis man har fulgt …

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Pensionanalyse. Regeringens pensionsreform er ultra-svær at gennemskue. Fradrag, gulerødder, …

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Lars lærer lilla. Svinerige finanstype Lars Seier har ikke bare trukket partistøtten …

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Vil vi fred her til lands, Sankte Hans Sankte Hans?. Endelig fik Lars Løkke noget igennem, …

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Now they know how many holes it takes to fill the Albert Hall. Milliardhullerne i den …

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Syndfloder af nationalpopulistisk lort. De har meget til fælles, de to underudrustede …

SPOT 2018.
KUN 199 KR
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Nr 12, 2018

Løgnen er ikke bare en by i Rusland

16. oktober 2018 / SPOT 12, 2018 / VRANJO er det første russiske ord, vi skal lære.

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